You hear “just ask for help” if you’re depressed, having panic attacks, or otherwise having a mental health issue.

Only the help has to be there when you ask for it. And it’s not. Three common things happen in the mental health world. I’ll describe them.

1.) When you or a loved one has a physical illness, everyone comes to your aid. When it’s mental, they don’t.

They might offer brief moral support, but they don’t really offer help. They don’t know what to do. They don’t want to upset you by bringing it up. They assume it’s resolved if you don’t say more. You’re alone.

2.) there is no urgency to stop the suffering as there is when someone is in physical pain.

You have to wait for help. Hunt for it. Call and call and call. Are you taking new patients? Who is? Is this program filled? Where else can I go? You wait and wait, becoming more desperate with time.

Think about the worst emotional pain you’ve ever felt, like a death in the family, a breakup, or a loss that caused you intense emotional pain, where you were clutching your chest and crying in the shower. Now picture yourself of one of your friends or relatives in this state.

3.) you can’t necessarily access help even if you want it.

A common refrain when looking at programs is “it depends on what your insurance will cover," or “I’m sorry, we don’t accept that insurance," or, in the case of some providers, “I’m sorry, but we don’t accept any insurance.” Imagine a doctor of physical ailments saying this. Even if you have insurance, they won’t take it. 

This isn’t unique to Connecticut. Psychiatrists all over the country do this. So do other licensed mental health providers.

So there’s the illness which creates one hell, then add isolation, no urgency to stop the pain, and programs and providers that won’t take insurance so you can’t even help yourself.

Don’t believe it? Check or call around and see how many psychiatrists in Connecticut are taking new patients and will see someone with Husky insurance. See how many choices you’d have for your parent, child, friend. Now imagine you couldn’t pay out of pocket. What would you do?

I’ll tell you what you’d do. You’d, hear people say, ‘I wish there was something I could do’ if you had that much support, and you’d wait and wait and wait. While you or your loved one suffered. Unless you had money and could pay out of pocket or borrow from every living relative. 

That’s wrong, it’s 2023, and we’re better than that.